I just want to start by saying I personally love this activity, because the clash between spoken English and written English has been my main issue in all my writing. I tend to write the way I speak, and that makes it difficult for my readers to understand my writing. This issue tends to happen to me the most when I’m dealing with professional writing such as research papers or thesis papers. For this project, I don’t believe this will be that much of a issue because I’m dealing with a narrative type paper.
– What I felt sounded brilliant was when I made the connection between Adam and eve’s story and my topic. The phrase: “and now we’re here eating apples too” seemed pretty clever to me. Although it is a bit sarcastic and slang, I’m sure my readers will find it humerus. It’s something a picky reader would tolerate.
– My whole first source paragraph sounded strange. Although to me it makes perfect sense , to my readers it might seem foreign. I read the pages in the book and have a much better understanding of the word “drifting” than my readers do. Also even I got mixed up a bit with my constant repentance of the clause ” accurate thought”.
– When reading my draft out loud I was caught off guard. My introduction was smooth sailing, but my first source paragraph felt all over the place. When reading out loud I felt like the whole paragraph lacked structure and direction. I was on to something big, but I just need to rewind and have a plan in order to hit it out of the park.
– I’m going to print out that source paragraph to keep as a sloppy outline, and then completely take it out of my paper. I’m going to restart from scratch and read every sentence out loud as I recreate this paragraph.
– When reading the article, I kept responding ” story of my life”. I definitely learned a lot from the article as well. Just being aware of the two types of Englishes is helpful. I think what I will try to do is translate my spoken English to written English. When ever a sentence sounds iffy to me, I will write on my paper and rewrite it.